Saturday, February 16, 2008

I have shared custody of my daughter, I have her more, why am I paying child support


I have shared custody of my daughter, I have her more, why am I paying child support?
We were not married, we had a baby. The mother is a mental case. Through mediation, the agreement is, We have shared custody, I have her Tuesday and Wednesday until 9pm. And Saturday, Sunday from 8:30am to 9pm. As you see I have her 4 days and she has three. Currently I agreed to not have overnights because the mother has seperation issues. SO overnights will not happen until January. In January, I will have her overnights. I currently pay 200.00 per month child support, 145 per month for health insurance for her. I have been paying 100% of medical expenses but agreed to only pay half. (mother having a hard time financially). I do make about 10k more than her a year. Can I take her back to court and show that I have the baby more and I pay more and get my child support cut or dropped? I dont think its fair that I pay her when I have her more. She says its for a roof over her head-I told her I need to have a roof too since she is here more!
Law & Ethics - 15 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You are paying child support because the mother does not have the resources to keep the child on her income and because you are the father and that is what they do to fathers.
2 :
She's your child...you should be proud to help support her! If you don't want to support her, give up your parental rights.
3 :
Welcome to the world where women claim they are treated unfairly with les pay for the same job. You don't hear them complaining about this injustice. You can always take her back to court, but it would make sense to wait until you are having the overnights. Even though time is equal or greater with you your daughter is sleeping at her house and this will factor into the decision. Once that changes you will have a good case ONCE is a typical feminist, Where is the mother responsibility? She had a baby too if she cant support the child without the father giving her money then maybe she should give up parental rights. She isnt giving him money for the time that the child is at his house and the time is equal why should she get money. She doesnt pay for insurance or medical what exactly is she paying for. She has to pay rent with or without the baby and utilites the same. So she is paying for food with the 200.00 she is getting what part of her income is going to the child?
4 :
as i have always understood. father pays child support. period.
5 :
The law is not always fair. We may have one of the best systems of government but our legal system is a joke I feel sorry for you but I doubt you can do too much. APPEAL TO ANOTHER JUDGE..but again the innocent is penalized because to appeal it will cost you money for a lawyer. Very unfair system. . And Attorneys make it worse every year. .
6 :
Yes you can take her back to court to have the judgment changed. A few things I see about it is, you are providing shelter during these periods, and also food for 4 days. Also, if you want the child over night at your house, why is it your problem the her mother has separation issues. She needs to get a handle on that. With that being said, maintaining a good relationship with the baby's mother is very important
7 :
It's not entirely fair, no. On the other hand, there's really no way to be fair in divorce situations. Child support isn't a matter of who has the child more, it's about balancing the finances to make sure the child can have a decent life in both places. If your child support is set so high that it makes it difficult for you to pay your rent, then yes, you should complain. Otherwise - going to court will cost you a lot of time and money, and your ex girlfriend a lot of time and money, and make your child stressed and unhappy. Even if she's just a baby and too small to know what's going on, she'll feel the tension (and probably get stuck with nasty sitters while all the court drama is going on!) Once children come into the picture, fair goes somewhat out the window. Because the baby can't take care of herself, the courts will come down hard to try and protect her. In the future, try not to impregnate crazy women? :)
8 :
I would take her back to court. Something is not right about that.
9 :
Ya that sounds about right. Welcome to the world of equality as the lawmakers see it. Women pretty much get a free pass while the males are told to get a job or go to jail. In fairness there are exceptions and the opposite happens but its rare. I had a 50/50 deal evrything split down the middle but when the "new and improved" man run outa money and had to hock the cubic zirconia, she went to CSS and whined for more.
10 :
Good luck to you all- I have a blended family and What you might need to do is go for full custody and with the mom having visitation etc- that is if you are willing to take on the full day to day responsibilities of your girl- and as time goes by they add up to more more more-Look at it from the babes point and go the way it will suit her, she is the main factor and the most important person in this - You have a gift - a little girl- and just put her first and you will be fine! I hope the mom will do the same! I have a older son - when he turned 2 our agreement was that everything was 1/2 - time Alternate each week - any money needed by him or for him is split 1/2 if medical or sports , school etc..so far he is 14 and things are going good! My son is very well adjusted and has 2 homes and 4 parents that love him very much- Takes time to get there and alot of kinks but so worth it! Yes you can take her back to court and if you have proof then they will lower the payments or even drop them!
11 :
When you have shared custody no one should be paying support. I have shared custody with my ex b/f and I have our son more and he doesn't pay me anything. He only has our son from Thursday at 4 p.m. until Saturday at 9 a.m. and when it comes to medical he always gives me hassle even though he was ordered to pay for the medical insurance. In fact, my son needs to go to the dentist and he was supposed to take him but hasn't. He has the dental insurance for him but will not give me the information I need to take him myself. I will probably have to threaten court myself. If you have the child more you will have to have documented proof when you take her back to court. I do have to say this though. She doesn't sound like a bad mom. You mentioned separation issues so it sounds like she really loves her daughter. Don't kick her while she is down. That is what my ex did to me. Sit her down and have a serious talk with her. Try working it out with her first. If that doesn't work then do what you have to. Just don't blind sight her. Make sure she knows what you intend to do. Play fair. My ex never even served me with papers when he took me to court. Out of no where my son was taken from me based on lies my ex told. My son was traumatized all because my ex wanted to hurt me. Our child is the only one to suffer. Sure, it hurt me but it is my son that use to be terrified of the police every time he saw one no matter where we were. Luckily now, our neighbor is a police officer and that has helped my children gain trust where cops are concerned. Nothing will erase what his father did though. The reason he did it. Because he didn't want to pay me child support. I had custody and he was supposed to pay me $100 a month. He hadn't paid it in a year when he took my son though. Go figure, he was the one screwing up but somehow he made me and our son pay the price. I moved to be near my ex and gave him 50% custody and said no more child support. All I wanted from him was to have him not drag our son through a nasty custody battle and traumatize him further.Take care.
12 :
Because the custody sharing was decided by a mediator and the support was decided by a judge. if you think the support should change, you file a motion with the court explaining that you now have agreed to essentially equal custody and ask the judge to modify the decree. However, it seems to me that you ought to be concerned more about the child's welfare and less about the money. That is what parents do.
13 :
You pay it because you do make more money. Once you have overnights, then you can go back to court. The court may or may not change the child support order. I’d suggest discussing it with a local attorney first.
14 :
The time the child is with you is only one of the factors the court will take under consideration when determining child support. The court can and will consider who makes more money, as well as many other factors in making that decision.
15 :
whos paying for the childs clothes - school expenses - and all those things?




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Posted by Child Health at 10:54 AM